A few weeks ago, in deciding when my husband would venture to the West for some needed family time, I thought immediately, "Thanksgiving" and told him that was when he should go.
I thought, "Only 2 and a half days of child care," I thought, "He will be able to enjoy everyone since the convening will happen for sure and he can soak in everyone at the same time," I thought, "Maximize the amount of time," and I thought, "We have those travel points, right? Just do it."
I thought differently than I do right now.
It's like when I was younger. I thought soo (that's right, an extra 'o') differently than I do right now.
The older I get, the more emotionally vulnerable I become. I did not think that was part of growing up.
I was able to handle six weeks of husband-lessness at 24. Why is it that 6 years later, 4 days without his prickly beard and I am tapped out?
It is not the fact that I have 2 kids. They have been wonderful.
It's me.
I need my husband.
I have this compulsion to want to build our unit more and to stay so insular. At 3:45a when I woke this Thanksgiving morning and made my way to the commode for that nightly ritual, I thought, "I would have Thanksgiving with just the 4 of us and no one else."
What kind of daughter would say that? I love my mom. I love my sisters and brothers. We all live within and hour of each other. Who am I?
I have become a wife and a mother. My husband and my kids are what everything is for. I have never needed them like this, but they are who I want to serve. They are who matter most.
And my husband is at the top of my list. Thank goodness he left some of his PJs behind.
Happy Thanksgiving, Celine. He'll be home soon -- and you'll be grateful.
ReplyDeleteI love this, and can relate completely. I was separated from my man last Thanksgiving. Not cool.
ReplyDeleteaw, and to think that I've personally taken you away from your husband twice in the past 5 years!! I totally relate to you; I feel the same way about my husband and this new little tootsie who's about to join our little family. I look forward to Christmas mornings when it's just the 3 of us.
ReplyDeleteThat may be a bit selfish of me but I can't help it; they are my world.
Let's just keep each other in our little worlds, ok?
one more night. can't wait for his scruffiness tomorrow.
ReplyDelete"For this cause, a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh"
ReplyDeleteI think its evidence of how solid a marriage is that you miss a part of it when he's gone. I'd be more worried if they left and we found ourselves able to get along without them effortlessly. I mean, we CAN do it, but not that we have to LIKE it! ;-)